Eating Candy and the Elven Willow

From a distance, the willow tree looked asleep.  A warm breeze brushed against my skin as I stood upon the hillside overlooking the farmhouse and its sentinel.  Standing twice the height of the old house, it moved not a twig; perceptible to my eyes, at least.  Of its age, I have wondered, yet I know the tree has stood likely just a fraction of the time of its house and the barn.  Of a younger generation, no doubt, still it slept like an old Giant.  Its legs and arms, hung long and limp.  Its leaves folded and sagged like a dress upon some great,  elven lady.

 But why did its personage grab my attention?  Perhaps its size - monumental in the retired farm yard.  Perhaps its unexpected stillness against a breeze.

I wonder, only to recall earlier today the sense that I had of becoming like a restless toddler.  You know the one: he has over-exerted himself as a bundle of energy all day long, and, now, he desperately needs to be silent in his parent's arms, but willfully wrestles against his physical need.  Finally, exhausted, he gives into sleep. That was the "thing" needed, after all.  And I am that child, most days.  I cannot say that sleep was the "thing" I have most needed (although, sometimes it is that simple), but a rest and a satisfaction that comes, and only can come, rather, when one's will is trained to abide within beauty and truth; and to love, and to wisely choose those deeply right, good things of life.  It has taken some time, but I have found those things to be ones directly related to eternity - to Christ.  Is that not from where beauty and truth spring?  

You know, there is something about goodness and beauty, no matter how far your choices or sin have removed you from their touch, which draw you back like a hungry boy to his grandmother's warm buttermilk biscuits and fresh, iced milk.  Or a moth to light-filled windowpanes. Or a woman to her knees before her God who loves far better than she once had allowed herself to hope.

A loving parent does not allow his child to eat all the candy at one sitting, you see, and he even asks his child to eat his "good food" before the desserts.  He does not forbid desserts, generally, but does things orderly and with kind intent.  Why is this?  Is it to be mean or a tease?  Of course not.  Is it not to train their tastes to love that which is good food?  But there is so much in my life, surrounding me daily that I can choose, and like an immature child, untrained and undisciplined in my desires, I fool myself every time, nearly.  Except for God's grace, it's that way.  

The remedy? That I turn to God, once more, and, like a dear friend has told me, "Just show up."  It makes all the difference when its just you and God, the dependent asking the Sovereign to train his own will to love the good, the best.  (The old hymn said it imperatively: Trust and obey, for there's no other way ... ."  How it's true, but I see my heart trips along rather disagreeably, thus, back to the issue of dependence I go, and its remedy.)

So what does the great Elven Lady have to do with any of this?  She struck a pose, of rumpled dress and repose, a friend who rose before me.  A bit of nature helping me to think through these things, perhaps?   I hope you could see her, and I hope you can envision a child resting peacefully as he ought in a setting that allows such peace, upon the breast of a parent who knows well what is needed; and I hope you can find yourself being cared and tended to by a loving God who trains not only as the psalmist said, "my hands for war," but our souls for beauty and rest.

Taking It Easy

This week has been one long, continuous blur, until today.  Today it seemed like everyone just melted into their routines with slack ambition - just enough to get through the essentials, and, then, like rivulets running downhill after a deluge ends, we created little tracks that ran into our own refreshing pools of play and thought.  I felt a bit guilty for it, but I think it is a false impression that rises from sudden breaks in activity.  Anyway, it's what we did - we played!  And rested.  And tonight we attended the Parent-Teen ministry at our church.  I had not really wanted to go anywhere, but experience has taught me that just showing up at church can alter my perspective and renew my soul in ways that other activities cannot do.  It has something to do with God's Word, it's clear instruction.  From it I drink like the porous sand sucking in the ocean.  Even just a few verses flowing like cold water into my being, and I am made well:

"The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;
"The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.
"The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;
"The commandment of the Lord is pure; enllightening the eyes.
"The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;
"The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether."  (Psalm 19:7-9)

Knockin 'Em Down & Teaching Logs

Logs tonight.  No, I am not sszzzzawing logs, but, setting up
Academic Logs.  (Ah, I love it when a plan comes together.  So exciting.)
It works like this: Teacher-Mom sets up the pins (fills out their assigned work) and the kids get to knock 'em down (getter done!).  Most days that's how it works.
We use little check marks.  The logs are flat, paper notebooks with little squares and lots of tiny instructions.  They represent our lives, in part. They are diaries of what we do.  (Certainly not the whole of our lives or of their instruction.)
And, then, at the end of 180 days, we get to show off all the little logs "knocked" down, and everybody is happy that we've sawed the whole pile and stacked it neatly between the pages of three-ring binders.
Interpretation? Well, that's up to the creator of the logs.  On one level, it means we've learned how to play school in a state-approved-recognized kind of way, and we now are smart, another year down, and no one gets hauled away. Well, at least not the kids. Mom may need her straight jacket refitted by then, but, somehow, the kids seem fine.  On a more lofty plane, it means something entirely different than what the state recognizes or requires.  It means this:
Now to get Wisdom.
Proverbs 4:7 "Wisdom is the Principal Thing; therefore, get wisdom: and with all thy getting, get understanding."

Now, how do I write that down onto these logs?  (That is, when we do not teach logs.  At least, last time I checked, I do not teach logs.  I teach whole persons, or at least, persons who are becoming whole, complete.  And you cannot buy a degree in this Wisdom.  But it is the principal thing.  No wonder God's Word aptly reminds me, "Lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge Him/God."  (Prov. 3)

Of Wisdom:  The best talk on Wisdom that ever I have heard is located here: Redeemer Presbyterian Church, Pastor Tim Keller -  http://sermons.redeemer.com/store/index.cfm?product=18377 - talks one and two are the ones I have heard.  Well-worth your time. 
And if you have older kids, invite them to listen with you.  Enjoy!

"And you were ...

... dead in the trespasses and sins
2in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience—
3among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.
4But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us,
5even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,
7so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. 8For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
9not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
10For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (excerpt from Ephesians 2, ESV ... intended audience, believers in Christ at Ephesus; author, Paul the Apostle)

God, Pretense & Cynicism

Pretense leads to cynicism, as a matter of course. The pretender suppresses truth, and, so is left without a remedy and resolution for sin's reality (reality which, for unspoken reasons, s/he believes is better left ignored). However, it is only a matter of time that the one without recourse or remedy becomes the cynic. Such a one needs God's specific care. This is a profound reality, as only God's grace confronts deeply and entirely and offers freedom to the pretender who, from constant use of pretense, now thoroughly doubts the possibility of something real, let alone deeply good and even true.

Jesus had much to say about these things: His word, the Truth, believing and doing truth, and freedom, and, the funny thing is, it seems like He often mentioned these ideas in the context of an invitation. If you will, take a moment and google a few scriptures. They are wonderful scriptures for meditation; I pray that you'll see what I mean. (John 8:31-32; John 15; Matthew 11:25-30)

The point is, God does not leave the pretender or the cynic without resolution.  Such resolution is found in Christ, the Son of God, the crucified One, slain for all, though all will not believe.  Yet, He was slain - not in cynicism or pretense, but in Truth.  May His humility and love rescue rebel hearts, and in the rescuing, may we be amazed at His wonder, His grace.  Amen.

On Culture and Being Nerdy

I am thinking about how culture is created, specifically the "culture" of a home, and even more specifically, the "culture" of our own home. Also, how broader "culture" becomes a reflection of home-life, even many homes, and how homes absorb and reflect the broader culture, for better or for worse; of our daily habits cultivated over time, habits set like stone and attitudes, and of the things we intentionally absorb and those we absorb by default or complacency, or tiredness; and of the skills and potential contained within a single family unit for the betterment of society, of the things we give ourselves to, collectively and in solitude. Am also thinking about my role, as mother, as example and creator of "culture" that holds a great potential to become either a positive or negative influence within our home, and within culture. I think that I think too much, and my children would call this nerdy. LOL ;)

Sunday Thots

"And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth; we have beheld his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father." (John 1:14)
We are made of clay. I think that it is why Jesus taught us stories with real objects. If you know the greater story at all, you will know it is why He incarnated Himself into this drama.  In other words, Jesus is not an abstraction.
But how can I see, smell, or touch His glory?
Periodically, after a summer storm, a bow of banded colors spreads like unfurled valor across the neighboring field, with a 3-D promise - Rainbow! (Oh, how I hope when it does that you go running for a loved one, to say, "Hey, Look! It's a rainbow! Wow."  Or, at least, pause in reverent awe.)  Or, have we noticed the scent of honeysuckle that hangs heavily on the drops of humidity. Or cedar breath, or pine, along the shoreline? Or have we heard waves thundering wildly, only to watch them rush like a teeming tease, purring and prancing now like kittens at our toes, tickling and licking. Or, have we known the touch of a gentle hand on a sore or weary spot.
Do we see the glory?  Do we participate with it, or are we stones, immovable, unfeeling? (If we are without feeling, without freedom to move near, to rise up and to grasp hold of the glory of God in even small ways -- like the child too small to reach the top of the gate to peer beyond at the stamping stallion -- please do not despair.  It all is an act of grace, to behold.  I think that it begins with becoming still, and turning our faces toward God who thought of you (and me) in the first place.  And in turning toward Him, in recognizing dependence, the capacity to live fully gets restored (renewed).  Read the Scriptures, the theme of such is written throughout them.)
To touch upon this idea a bit more, the idea of idea incarnated, specifically, of God's glory in minute measure, and even more particularly, I am reminded of love.
I find it particularly easy to make an abstraction out of love, but particularly difficult to scrub the toilet. Yet Jesus was brave. Yes, Jesus was unflinchingly brave. He bled on two crossed beams. He hung there for hours in humility. There the abstraction ends. But, can I hear, and grab hold of His words, "Come to me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest"? Luke 11:28
This, my friends, is no abstraction either - the touch of the Savior's hand on a sore and weary spot, no matter how deep it goes.  No matter.

Praise & Prayer

It's been awhile since I've posted here, but Praises and Thanks to God for my wonderful husband; for the trip the kids and I took to the beach for a week while he worked hard; for the hospitality of my cousin and her husband who shared their beach home with us; for safe travels; for an a/c unit gifted to us by husband's grandmother; for a few degrees cooler temp today ... prayer for some friends with special needs; for the GO team and their contacts today!